So...

When I start to tell a story I normally start it with “So…” And I wasn’t aware of it until I did an internship in New York. When my manager would have to call a client from Missouri for a meeting he would get himself all set up with plenty to do during the meeting. He said we tend to talk slow and drag out words and start everything thing with ‘”So…’”. So I became aware of this habit so thought why not embrace it. Each of my blogs are like a story I would tell a friend so I would only seemed fitting I started it with “So…”.
Okay SO here goes…
My name is Jessica and I’m a fat girl. This blog will be about my struggle with my inner fat girl as I try to be a fit girl. I have struggled with my weight for a few years and this blog is a glimpse into my daily battles with myself, fitness, and food.
Bear with me through this process, as I will have slip ups and typos but I never claimed to be a fitness professional or a writer.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

So... What Weighs 90 Pounds?


I started thinking today about what weighs 90 pounds… a child or preteen, a female celebrity, a large dog…


I cannot believe I have gained 90 pounds in 9 years. How did I let this happen? What was I thinking!?


Yep that’s right, 90 pounds. I graduated high school weighing 120. Of course, I started trying to think of excuses on why I gained the weight: well, I swam in high school and didn’t in college;  college wasn’t good to me; and of course the I-was-in-relationships-and-got-“fat-and-happy”-excuses. But really, who am I kidding? I was the reason I gained a Lindsay Lohan.  I would gain 10 pounds, go to the gym and work out, diet for two weeks and then I would be back to my old ways of skipping the gym and eating anything I wanted. I would become okay with that 10 pounds and tell myself, “okay no more,” but would gain more. I did this over and over.





Let’s start by tackling my first excuse. Yes, I did swim and play softball for 13 years, and when I graduated from high school, I quit. I would play intramural sports for my sorority, but it didn’t even come close to how active I was in high school. In high school, lifting in the morning was social and sometimes a method for meeting my next boyfriend. I would do physical education classes during the day with friends. And then would have practice after school. Working out was social and just what we did. Because I was working out so much I was able to eat tons of calories a.k.a. anything I wanted. I never learned to eat healthy. I should have educated myself on health and should have made working out social in college.






Second excuse: I gained weight from college. Yes, I gained weight while in college but it wasn’t Northwest’s fault. While Northwest was the best decision of my life, I did not make the best decisions while there. Just because I could order pizza anytime until 3 a.m. doesn’t mean I should have.  And the $5 all-you-can-drink doesn’t mean I needed to drink all I could. Not only that, but I could have made better choices on what drinks I had. While in high school working out and sports were social, in college going out to eat and going to the bar was what we did socially. I could have taken more advantage of the free fitness center and taken classes at the community center on campus. I enjoyed my college experience. I loved it! Some of the best years of my life! But I could have made better choices and avoided gaining a preteen.







And the last and most popular: I was in relationships and got “fat and happy.” I had two long term relationships in college that I gained weight during. After college, I met “the one” and I went from 175 to 210lbs. I must have been really happy!!! This is insane. 35 pounds! We enjoyed going out to eat together, but I really can’t make any excuses. I want to look good for him and not use our relationship as an excuse!







So now that I have gained 90 pounds it is easy to be discouraged and feel hopeless. I hope that this blog holds me accountable and helps keep me on track. But my desire to lose weight just got kicked into overdrive. *Read my next blog to hear why.*