So… I have a new addiction and a new challenge!

My last blog was about my addiction to chocolate. I think I may have fell into the trap of replacing one addiction with another.  I am obsessed with… pineapple. I know it isn’t the best for my diet. But last night I had to fight the urge of getting out of bed to go eat pineapple! What is wrong with me? Greg will buy me a whole pineapple and cut it for me and I am trying to grab a piece as he is cutting. I think that is when he realized there may be a problem. Then today when I was leaving work I found some I had put in the fridge there. Could I have waiting till I got home?  Oh no there I was driving and eating pineapple. I mean seriously Jessica control yourself!

This reminded me of my friend’s blog I had just read. http://twentysomethingdmi.blogspot.com/2013/04/my-gluttonous-angel-and-noodley-arms.html

“My stomach and my brain totally battle it out, especially lately as I've been focusing on portion control.
At this very moment, I pulled to a stop at a traffic light. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw a woman in her car shoving handfuls of french fries into her mouth. She washed it all down with a super sized drink before she'd scoop another handful of fries into her mouth. You guys, she looked RIGHT AT ME while she was eating. It was like she knew I was struggling. Not only did I know that I shouldn't eat like that, just watching it sort of grossed me out. So, with renewed clarity, I turned the corner and continued to the gym.”

OMG I was eating my addiction in the car. No it was not chocolate late at night or early in the morning to avoid judging eyes. No it wasn’t a fast food lunch ate in the car to avoid judgment from coworkers. It was pineapple. This hiding of food…. Are we hiding in fear of judgment from others? Are we hiding because someone might call us out on what we are eating? But hiding it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Those calories count regardless if someone saw you or even if someone judged you.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with a coworker. We use myfitnesspal to hold ourselves accountable for our eating. But do we really hold ourselves accountable? If we fall off the wagon during the weekend it is unlikely we will track our calories. If we have a horrible lunch we tend to not track the rest of the day. Why do we think if we don’t track it, it didn’t happen? I guess I need to hold myself more accountable to myself.

There seems to be small wins but then also failures. I hope I start getting the hang of this soon. I went to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory with a coworker today and was able to not buy anything. Even though the red velvet cake pops looked amazing! And today for lunch I had the worse cravings for French fries but I ate my spinach salad for lunch. I woke up with craving for French fries and they were still there at lunch but I ate that dang salad.

 

I have committed myself to working out at Fit By Burn four times a week. And I have since April 15. When my alarm goes off at 4:30am so many times I want to find an excuse and reset my alarm but something makes me want to get up and prove to myself I can. If I skipped I would feel so guilty. Why can’t I do that for my eating?  When I eat something I shouldn’t, I instantly feel bad about it. So why do I do it? Why can’t I stop myself from eating it like I can stop myself from skipping a workout? Eating it isn’t worth it.  It is so frustrating I can lose a pound or two in five days and gain it back from one bad day. You have to make so many positive choices to see a positive result but one negative choice and bam!

So here starts operation eating what I should. Working on making my eating a habit like my working out.

This weekend will be tough!

Every time I go to the lake as soon as we get to the condo we drop our bags and head out to our deck overlooking the lake and the State Park and start up the margarita machine…watching the sunset with a margarita and catching up with friends or family. Saturday we take the boat out and layout in the water and drink a few more frozen margaritas. I even have a perfect Tervis camel back cup for it not to spill. So this weekend I will not be drinking as a challenge set by Mendy for her Daily Burn class. I will not be eating the fried food at the restaurant on the water and will not have the muchies from drinking. It seems silly but this will be hard. During the other seasons I can go weeks without a drink. Summer just has so many social situations that drinking will be tempting. Royals games, float trips, lake trips, mud volleyball, BBQ’s…. Wish me luck! This will be a HUGE challenge for me.  

Last Year's Mothers Day! No we did not drink them all we just like variety!

 

Marg Machine in the boat!

On the deck with my girls!