So… I am kind of disappointed in myself.

So… I am kind of disappointed in myself. I woke up this morning and my butt still hurt from pulling a muscle (see last blog) so I slept through bootcamp. I know slap my hand.

 

I went to Daily Burn tonight and I just didn’t do well at it… if that makes any sense to you. I felt like I could have given it more but just couldn’t muster up the energy. Everything seemed more difficult than it should have been. It just felt off to me. I think I left my body back on the couch at home because it just wasn’t into it. Hopefully tomorrow I can attack the daily burn and just beast mode through it. I will try and prepare myself better and get more water in and a few more calories in before the daily burn tomorrow.

A bright spot… When I was running the square and was doing the rope slams outside I kept watching all the people going into the Mexican restaurant, a really good Mexican restaurant. I use to be one of those people, eating myself stuffed with chips and salsa… but instead I was working out. YAY me, even if it wasn’t my best workout performance at least I was working out instead of pigging out. Every day I crave chips and salsa and any day I can beat the cravings I view as a win! And workout on that day double win! But just wish I could have performed better during that workout.

Well… Let’s be honest it was also that way with coke zero and chocolate. I use to drink a Coke Zero before I would even get in the shower in the morning. I would pop that pop tab and ahhhhhh those bubbles would just hit the spot. I would 2-4 Coke Zero’s a day. And it wouldn’t be uncommon for my “breakfast” to involve something with chocolate. We would have candy left over from conference and trade shows and yep I would have a few throughout the day. I would crave I mean crave chocolate and just a bite would make me so happy. Chocolate was never too much. I could eat chocolate on chocolate on chocolate dipped in chocolate. 

In the last few weeks I have given up soda! Huge accomplishment for me!!! OMG those headaches are something straight out of a scary movie! I even looked at caffeine patches like the nicotine patches smokers use. But I didn’t use them but they do exist. After I got through the headaches and withdraw from the caffeine I have been so scared to have even a drop of it and risk the chance of having to go through that painful process again. Chocolate is now out of the office and I have it on a rare occasion. I am good with the caffeine addition but chocolate still should not be in the house! Hopefully my chip and salsa and chocolate cravings will be broken soon :). 
Each day I workout and avoid my trigger foods I get a step closer to replacing those cravings for food with cravings for working out. 

So... Did that really happen?

So… I just pulled my what?

Tonight I went to my Daily Burn class and the first exercise was lunges. I tried to get really low on each lunge so I didn’t have to be told to go lower. Then all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain on my butt. I went on to the next warm up exercise, leap frogs. OMG my butt, a pain shooting up my butt check. I went on to inch worms with a push up. At that point I had to tell Mendy I hurt my butt. How do you tell your trainer you think you pulled your butt?  I thought can you even pull your butt? She had me go sit on the box (used for box jump) and put my ankle on my opposite leg’s knee  and lean forward and stretch my butt muscle. Then foam roll my butt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foam_rolling) Mendy thinks I pulled my piriformis. Mendy said I should probably call it a day because the daily burn was going to be intense and involve lots of squats. I asked if there was anything else I could do. And she gave me some exercise I could do while the girls carried on with the daily burn. I am so lucky to have a trainer who can fit a workout to my needs. I was able to do 8 ball exercises and two sets of each of those. Then more stretching and rolling. When I was leaving one of the girls at daily burn asked me if she could show me some stretches for my fiancé to do. I thought she overhead me tell Mendy he was starting Insanity so I thought that’s what she meant. She had me lay on my stomach and then she put one hand on my lower, lower back and another on the bottom part of my butt and pulled in opposite directions. Then put her palm on the muscle and did circle motions. OMG is it wrong to say it felt good having someone rub my butt? It helped so much but also made me realize wow I really did pull it. Good thing she rubbed my butt because once home Greg didn’t. lol Oh I should probably mention she use to do massage therapy.

Ugh I have no idea how I am going to do tomorrow mornings workout.

So... did you really just tag me in that photo?

Ugh!! I hate candid photos! Any candid photo of me I hate hate hate. When candid photos are posted on facebook I instantly am disgusted and un tag myself. Recently my trainer Mendy posted a candid photo of me and I was horrified. I need to come to terms with that is what I look like and turn that disgust into motivation. If I don’t like how I look in a photo I shouldn’t just untag myself thinking okay that will make it go away. I should come to terms with that is what I actually look like and if I don’t like it I should do something about it. I have become a pro at making myself look better in picture probably from years of training being in a sorority. One leg farther forward than the other, place hand and on smallest place of my hip, push butt back and chest forward, slight twist of torso, push neck out (to avoid multiple chins), and slight tilt to head and slight turn of face from camera so not to have full on face shot. A camera comes my way I instantly go into sorority pose mode. I need to come to turns with that my manipulation of the photo is not reality that a candid photo is the best form of reality. There is no instagram and no camera in our daily lives. Hat how I look in that candid is how I REALLY look in real life!

Yep that is me on the end. Squatting is not flattering! 



Positive encouragement from Mendy!

I have already used this photo as motivation. Last night I had a really tough work out at the Daily Burn class. It took an hour and a half and I so wanted to quit. We were all kinda complaining about how hard it was. I have heard people who run say that eventually you don’t feel the pain. I thought that seemed crazy and no way that was true. Last night we did so many chest and back exercise I was doing push up and honestly couldn’t feel my arms anymore. My body was going up and down and my arms didn’t burn anymore; I felt nothing. Thanks to Mendy I reached that place of no feeling. If on my own I would have definitely stopped when it hurt so bad I didn’t think I could do anymore. Mendy pushed me past that state and right into the infamous numb feeling. It is amazing knowing that it does exist and that if I push myself I can get there. Thank you Mendy!

The girls last night after all of our exercise(running, sprinting, jump roping, lawn mowers, chest fly, txr triceps and biceps, pushups, shoulder s, planks, and some other things I blocked out) the girls didn’t think it would be possible I would get up at 4:40am for the Bootcamp. My alarm went off this morning and I so thought of resetting it and going back to bed. Especially since it was in the 30’s and in a down pour! But I thought of that photo. I thought of the other girls who were getting up and making it in. So I put on my workout clothes and off to bootcamp I went. And despite my hard work out last night I managed to keep up with the girls. Well let’s be honest, I didn’t do too well at the “up downs” exercise but everything else I did okay at. Mendy did correct me on those.

Every week that I do all 4 workouts I am so proud of myself. I just hope soon my hard work will be noticeable in my photos.  I know it will be eventually.

So yea, I am still tagged in that photo of me on facebook as motivation and as a reminder of how I need to change.

So... MS Walk

 

Saturday, April 27, 2013 I walked in Walk MS.

My friend’s uncle has MS and she wrote us girls on facebook asking us to participate or donate. I signed up months ago to walk. I could have considered that my donation and slept in that Saturday morning. But despite the rain and chill, I got up and drove to Sporting Park. I was blown away by the amount of people and the positivity. I instantly felt guilty for even considering not going to the walk. I am lucky I have the ability to walk and to think I might have wasted that gift lying in bed. I met up with Erin and her family and I was blown away by how they were supporting Rick (her uncle). We reached a sign that pointed 1 mile and 3 miles. We elected to do the 3 miles and I am glad we did.  The walk started at Sporting Park, the Sporting KC arena and we walked through the Kansas Speedway and through the Legends Shopping Center. It was rewarding to support a friend and to be a part of the 25th anniversary of the Walk MS.

I now look forward to more walks and even 3 and 5 k’s to combine good causes and fitness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdRrALMSDSY&feature=player_embedded

So… What makes this attempt different?

So… I have been gaining weight for 9 years. Why now? Why do I think this attempt will be different than all the others?

WEDDING- Well I’m getting married!!! Yep I will be getting married January 2014 in Riviera Maya, Mexico.




Sweating for the Wedding!

I bought THE DRESS for the size I am now… but of course like most every bride I would like to be thinner for my wedding day. I want to cherish not criticize my wedding photos. I want to be able to wear shorts and dresses and not worry about my legs. I want to sit in a swimsuit and not feel my stomach. I haven’t worn a bikini in many many years and that is not a goal of mine, but feeling good about myself in a swimming suit is! For starters I need to change the above I want to I will. I will! I will!

Okay besides “sweating for the wedding” what else is different this time…

GYM- I found my gym. Not so much a gym but a fitness studio. It is a wellness studio that has unique fitness programs, massage therapy, cooking/nutrition class, service projects, and friendship. (I will have another blog on choosing Fit By Burn and my first experiences). Friendship? At a gym?  Again it is a studio, you will not find rows of ellipticals and treadmills with TVs and magazines here. LOL you don’t have time to watch TV or read a magazine at Fit By Burn! At Fit By Burn you have your friends cheering you on and pushing you. I will never step foot in an impersonal mega gym again.

BOOTCAMP- I am a Fit By Burn Boot Camper! Bootcamp is twice week from 5:15-6:30am. The workouts are always challenging and always pushing us to new limits. The small group dynamic is awesome. We have all become friends and encourage each other and keep each other accountable on coming. It is really hard to get motivated to get up that early some days, but thinking it might be a partner day and I might be leaving my partner Kim solo I get my butt into the studio. No bootcamp is the same as another, which I love!  Running, jump rope, hills, stairs, kickboxing, HIIT training, kettlebells, body-weight strength training, TRX…. So now working out is fun and sometimes I actually look forward to it!

TRAINER- Another reason why this time is different is because I didn’t just find my studio/class but I found my trainer, Mendy. Picture Jillian Michaels! Yep I get yelled at sometimes. I swear the girls must I have thought my name was “Jessica get your butt down!” because that is all they heard for my first few classes. And yes they still hear my name quite a lot during the class. But that is because she is encouraging me and pushing me. She pushes me to hold a squat or plank longer and lower than I would even attempt. She advises me to go up on weight when something looks too easy for me. She corrects my form and makes sure I am doing the exercise right. She doesn’t yell or correct me to be mean… no quite the opposite! I know she does it because she cares and wants me to improve my health. If I went to mega gym with a friend we would likely chat during the workout and boost each other up by saying, “oh yay us, we went to the gym”! Going to a mega gym can be an accomplishment in itself, I know I never could find the motivation to go alone or deal with the crowds and wait on machines. But my accomplishments in bootcamp are not just showing up, they are doing an exercise I wasn’t strong enough for before or improving my physical test or being told by Mendy I did something well or improved on something. Oh yea Mendy does a body fat physical test every 6-8 weeks. My last testing Mendy looked at the numbers and said “what are you eating”! “Um obviously not what I should be” was my response. I had no excuse. Just working out is not going to get me to my goals.

FOOD-

Now I am tracking my food on myfitnesspal and making huge progress in choices I eat. I now pack my lunch and snacks every morning and plan dinner out. Before I would go out to eat for lunch with a coworker or heat up a smart one. Now I make a spinach salad for lunch and cut fruit for snacks. Before we would come home and be tempted by how easy and fast pasta was. Now I make sure I take the meat out of the freezer and put it in the fridge before I leave for work and I make sure we have all the vegetables we need to go with it. Coming home to a planed out meal makes it easier to stick with that health choice instead of making pasta or going out to eat.  We have even enjoyed cooking together at night.

WORK OUT MORE- I have even increased the amount of times I see Mendy from twice a week to 4 times a week. I now also workout Monday and Wednesday at night at Fit By Burn’s Daily Burn class. The Daily burn has 7 workout times a week but I have only been able to add two of the 7 to my bootcamp schedule as of now. But I hope to go from working out 4 times a week to 6 in the next few weeks. This class is more weight training, even smaller than the bootcamp, and more one on one with Mendy. I love it!

So please raise your protein shake and join me in a cheers that his time WILL be different!